Why I Want to Be an Entrepreneur
I had a career for 12 long years in the IRS. I hated most of my time there.
I was transferred to a different office with a lower position, hoping that I would escalate up the ranks within a few years. That never happened. I stayed in that low position and was harassed horribly every day.
When my husband lost his job, I knew I couldn’t quit, no matter what. I should have.
A few months ago, I finally had it. I wasn’t afraid anymore, I resigned and now my husband works. It’s not easy financially but it wasn’t easy before.
I have watched so many videos, listened to so many speeches, even talked to a few business owners but they all want to be paid to help me. I understand, truly. I would want to be paid too.
I created a business name, registered it with the state I live in and received an EIN (Employer Identification Number).
I struggled with a Facebook page for weeks until something finally worked.
I create Facebook Ads, joined women’s entrepreneurial groups and I’m still clientless.
I hate cold calling, even though I should probably try it. I have a fear that stops me. I am not fit and in excellent health. I think that people will laugh at me or just not sign up to be my client.
Plans don’t always go accordingly
My day starts around 8:30 a.m. when it probably should have started at least 2 hours before. What can I say? I like to sleep, always have, always will.
When I come downstairs, immediately I start to make coffee while thinking of my to-do list. The dogs want to go out and be fed, the senior cat wants food, so she harasses me to the point of screaming and then my daughter wakes up. It’s easily 9:15 a.m. and nothing has gotten done.
Deanna is my 7-year-old daughter. She has a connective tissue disorder called Marfan. She needs help with certain things like bathing. I get her in the tub and think to myself that I have about 35 minutes to get something done, I go to the kitchen and remember that I forgot to feed the animals. Grrr. I have barely gotten my coffee ready!
I feed the dogs, cats, pour my coffee and ask Deanna what she will eat for breakfast before I make my eggs. 10 a.m. rolls around, I haven’t had a sip of coffee and I’m washing Deanna and getting her out of the bath. Time to pick out an outfit, give her medicine, put her braces, sneakers, ortho leg wraps on and make her breakfast.
Deanna is homeschooled, so I must figure out to how to do her curriculum plus clean the house or at least get the dishes done and my office work.
By noon, I’ve had one cup of coffee and 3 eggs.
I stare at my kitchen exhausted by the pile of dishes that I must clean.
I go into my office to set Deanna up with homework and immediately I’m stressed out because the mess that reminds me that I am disorganized. What the hay?
I forget a lot. If I start one thing and get distracted, I start something else and then remember and run around in circles all day. (oh yeah, Candice, stumbletasking, it’s a syndrome I know only too well – and I’m sure we are not alone).
I learned years ago that I can’t multi-task very well. The best I can do is watch Netflix while washing the dishes.
My brain creates a to-do list at night of everything that must get done, comes up with the plan, how much time each item should take etc. This doesn’t do any good while I’m trying to sleep.
I have started a journal again, it helps calm my busy mind. I make a list of what must be done and then move it, forget about it and live in chaos.
First Action Steps
One thing I have started to do is when I get mail, to deal with it right away. Spam mail gets shredded instead of being put into a shred box for later. This step occurred out of wanting to eliminate a place for the senior cat to potty in again and again.
I have 3 file boxes in my office. I’d prefer a locking file cabinet in cherry or oak, but this will have to do.
I relabeled the folders in my box and have started to upload important documents into my computer to eliminate paper. Sounds great? Well it’s a step in the right direction, I still have a disorganized computer to deal with.
For example, I searched for a specific resume to upload for 3 hours and never found it. Wasted time and energy.
To be successful, it helps to be organized.
I listened to Marie Kondo’s book “The Joy of Tidying” for inspiration. This takes all day for one thing and everything else suffers.
This book is great and makes me want to get rid of 90% of the stuff in my house. Of course, I stopped buying a lot of collectables many years ago when I was looking for stuff to sell in order to pay the rent and I discovered that all my stuff was worthless.
The next thing I started to do to eliminate some stress in my day is cleaning the dishes at night after everyone went to bed. The goal in my head is to clean each thing the moment I’m done using it.
As far as my business is concerned, I must do that either early in the morning or late at night.
I have accepted that it is truly impossible to work for 8-10 hours and have an educated daughter in a sparkling clean house.
A Shift in Perspective
It’s no secret to any of my friends and family that I am hard on myself. I know I’m not the only one.
Many of my internal thoughts and habits came from my mother. For example, cleaning the house before someone comes over because they will judge you. Stressful.
I have been working with a few strong and beautiful women that have helped me dig deep to find the main issues.
I work on the I AM’s every day. I bet you’re asking what that is. Well, to put it simply. Mantras.
- I am strong
- I am beautiful
- I am talented, etc.
I am rewriting that negative inner dialogue into a positive one.
This calms me down and reinforces the positive things I do every day. The perfectionist in me doesn’t like it very much but I can walk away easier.
Not everyone is going to like you. Fact. Their opinions of you are none of your business. What they say reflects their character. Remember that.
When you feel better about you, your business improves. I am currently working on blogging, coaching, and e-comm. I make sure I have some time daily for me, then everything else.
Tomorrow is a new day, a new start, what will you do?