When you meet Sibylle Stehli now, it’s hard to believe that 24 years ago, she was so unhappy that she was about to take her own life. These days, Sibylle is the epitome of light, love, joy and peace. She has found her dharma and is giving her gifts back to the world as the Chaos Disruptor, a Spiritual Director, Healer and Author.
Sibylle Stehli – The Courage To Be Me
In this moving interview, Sibylle shares her inspirational story which she also described in her first book “The Courage to Be Me“.
In the video and podcast, you’ll find a shortened version of our full interview.
VIDEO: The Courage to Be Me – Sibylle Stehli
PODCAST: Sibylle Stehli – The Courage to Be Me
When did You Decide to Become an Entrepreneur?
It was not actually a planned timeline for when it would happen.
I was sitting as a case study for a friend who was completing the Martha Beck coaching course in October-November 2008. In the final exercise we did, she took me through The End Game. The premise was to go into the future a year ahead and look back over the past year.
I then needed to just write whatever came onto the page without reading or censoring it. Automatic writing has always been easy for me. It is how I wrote my first book called The Courage to be Me.
It is how I am writing the follow-up book as well.
When I did read what I had written down, I was amazed and terrified at the same time.
The gist of the message was that I would leave my Optometry career at the end of May 2009…6 months away!
What prompted you to start your own business?
I had been unhappy for many years in my Optometry career. I did not feel it was my calling or purpose. It was no fun when my children saw me crying while getting dressed to go to work on a Saturday morning. I had always wanted to be a stay-at-home Mom and now this was not happening.
Another reason was that this was actually my father’s dream; to have one of his children take over his optometry practice and continue his legacy.
Because I could not follow my dream of being a wild-life conservationist in Africa (the reason given was “We don’t take girls”) when I left school in 1982, I defaulted to Optometry. I was familiar with it. I had worked in my father’s practice in Somerset West to earn money during the school holidays.
By the end of 2008 I was a recently accredited Brandon Bays Journeywork Practitioner and also a Reiki Master. With a wing and a prayer, I opened the doors to my complimentary healing practice, called Grace-Full Living, on 01 June 2009.
I had closed the door to Optometry on Monday 25 May when I left work that day.
It all unfolded just as I had written it would, 6 months prior.
What has been the #1 Highlight of Your Career?
This is a difficult one to answer as there have been many.
If I had to choose the one that stands in the forefront the most, it is feeling every day that
I am on-purpose and making a difference. This is true for me even when I am not always aware of what the difference is for someone. It is the feeling of really knowing why I am alive and here today, when all I wanted to do in August 2000 was to take my car off Chapman’s Peak and not live another day.
What has been the Greatest Challenge for You to Overcome in Your Career?
Fear and self-doubt.
This was especially true for me on the days when I was putting in all the work and the results were not visible yet. I then questioned whether I am on track, whether I have lost the plot along the way and whether I really do believe I can do it.
And then I did and still do the inner work on myself to take me to the next level in my life and business when this happens.
What has been the #1 Highlight of Motherhood for You?
Being best friends with my 2 grown children who are now living in London and aged 27 and 29.
When I chose to get divorced, 2 months after opening my practice (and this was not in the written End Game exercise); I put out the intention to the Universe that I wanted to heal the relationship with my children.
My marriage had turned out to be abusive. My children were the reason I chose to divorce as I could see how they and I were shutting down in life instead of flourishing and thriving.
What has been the Greatest Challenge for You to Overcome as a Mother?
Besides the 19-month long divorce, I would say it has been to keep life balanced between the business, the responsibilities with the children and then finding time for myself for personal growth and self-care.
All things considered, do you feel it was a good decision to become and entrepreneur?
Absolutely YES and I would do it again in a heartbeat!
Do you have any Daily Rituals to Maintain a Work-Life Balance?
Yes, I do.
Years ago, I read about a study that had been done which stated that we have the best concentration and productivity in a period of 90 minutes. It is wise to take about a
15-20 minute break and then start the next cycle of 90 minutes production time again.
So I have putting this to the test and it totally works for me. I set a timer on my phone and when it is my 20-minute break; I ensure I get up and move, go out into nature, have a cup of tea or just be, integrate and contemplate.
I have found that I get more done in less time than I would if I push myself and do not take these short intermittent breaks…hehe…it’s like intermittent fasting for work!
I also have my week structured so that I am not working on a Wednesday. I am called to work on a Saturday as this is often the only time people can have a session, and the other day off is Sunday.
It is lovely to have the mid-week break, as I am refreshed and I feel fulfilled, nurtured and supported within myself.
Do You Feel You have Already Created Your Best Work?
Oh definitely not! I am currently in the foundation phase of setting up the new iteration of my business and this is now about leaving my legacy.
I am in an 18-month Spiritual Directorship Program with Dr Ricci-Jane Adams of the Institute for Intuitive Intelligence in Australia. I started working with her in March 2023.
The work done with her to date and what is happening in this Directorship Program has literally changed me on all levels. I am now ready to bring what I am here to create, into the world.
I know that in the past, there has been negative connotation to the term Spiritual Director as this pertained more to religion and particularly to the Catholic Church. The interesting thing is that I was born into Catholicism and then taken away from it as my parents were already in the esoteric field in the 1970’s.
As I understand it, the modern version of Spiritual Director is someone who embodies a way of living that is in congruence and harmony with their Soul and God-Self. It is someone who is a Way-Shower and Leader in the sacred ways of life; while simultaneously being in service to those who are ready to embody their Soul and God-Self.
When I was doing a digital declutter, I discovered a document on my laptop which I had written in 2001. I had written that I would be creating a retreat centre. This is the vision that is now birthing itself in the entry levels of this new business. It has been holding space for me for 24 years.
Is there a Book, Song or Movie that has had a Huge Significance in Your Life?
In 1999, I heard the song Search for the Hero by M People. And it resonated so strongly with it that I took it on as my song and it literally held me through so many dark times in my life.
The 4 books which have literally changed me on all levels are:
- The Life You Were Born to Live by Dan Millman
- The Journey by Brandon Bays
- The Surrender Experiment by Michael A Singer
- Spiritually Fierce by Dr Ricci-Jane Adams
Is there Anything You Wish You Knew when You Started Out as an Entrepreneur?
Yes, there are a few things:
I wish I knew how to create my work-life balance so that I would not burn myself out.
I wish I knew how to budget and allocate my finances and put money away with each payment received.
I wish I had a business mentor that could help me re-align and stay on track so that I did not have to find everything out the long and hard way.
And these are the things that I would have advise to someone who is thinking of and/or starting out as an entrepreneur.
Is there Anything You Wish You Knew when You First Became a Mom?
You mean, besides wishing my newborns had an instruction manual with them?
I wish I knew how infinitely rewarding it is to have my children and to have the relationship I have with them now.
Also, that I would feel this huge unconditional love and gratitude for these 2 beautiful Souls who are my teachers. That I would be their best friend and someone they could look to and trust with absolutely everything and know that they are unconditionally accepted just as they are.
Do You Feel You Chose an Easy Path or a Difficult One?
Most definitely the latter.
Would I choose differently if I had to do it over again? Absolutely not.
Through the challenges and difficulties, I have grown and woken up spiritually on all levels and am able now to be of the service I am meant to be in the world. That would not have happened if the path was easy.
I knew early on that everything I deeply desire is way out on the other side of my comfort zone. Even if my comfort zone was an uncomfortable one at times. It was familiar and somehow safe to stay there. And yet, my vision kept calling me forward and now here I am. I gained freedom from my limiting self and now find beautiful new and aligned friendships and connections along the way.
Who is Your Target Market?
If I were to give you a referral, who would you be looking for?
So the way I describe what I do now is that I am a Chaos Disrupter.
I have had to disrupt the fears, patterns, behaviours and limiting belief systems that kept me locked in chaos and confusion.
By doing this, I have the clarity and vision for my life and my purpose and I can be of service in the way I was always meant to be.
So my desire is to work with people and animals and assist them to re-discover their Zen through innovative processes and help them to leave the chaos behind.
I work with people who are tired of the same-old, same-old and who are committed to living their lives on purpose.
I am also in the field of animal communication and healing and work especially with horses, cats and dogs. Yes, they have feelings and carry trauma too and so they also display behaviours which are not serving them.
Sibylle Stehli is our 49th Featured Mompreneur. You can find all our Featured Mompreneurs on this page.
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